…Hmm… so much to write about, so little time. :- ) Well, that is just a silly statement. I have the time. I guess what I mean is that I have so many ideas, so many subjects, so many topics- that I could be writing about today that I have to narrow it down to just one. Can you tell I am stalling here? And when I write my blog posts- I also like to be mindful of your time as I do not want to write long, wordy posts that take a long time to read. (And I can be wordy… so I have to watch out for that!)…
…So I “opt-out” for the easier choice. I will share a post I just contributed to an online nurse article site that I am a monthly contributor for. But guess what? You get first crack at it since there is often lag time between when I submit an article and when it gets published. So enjoy!!!.
“The prerequisite to true freedom is to decide that you do not want to suffer anymore.” Michael A. Singer
…I am reading Singer’s, The Untethered Soul, and came across this line. It shouted to me loud and clear: in order to achieve health, to reach wellness goals, to make changes- we have to really, really want it. We have to come to the decision that there is no other way to live- similar to hitting “rock bottom”…
…Now what does this have to do with nursing? Well, I recently led a workshop at my local chapter of the American Holistic Nurses Association. My talk was about sensing, translating, and preparing for self-care. You might be thinking “Prepare for self-care; what does she mean by that?”…
…In my work, sometimes people approach me for help with wellness goals, yet they aren’t entirely clear with themselves about what they actually want to change and if they are ready to do so. So I created this workshop where I take individuals through a step-by-step process that helps them decide if a change they want to make or a goal they want to achieve is really something they are ready and willing to do. Or- is the goal/change coming from external sources? Is it coming from the “shoulds”, “have tos”, or other pressures placed upon them?…
…This point was highlighted even further at the AHNA workshop. We went around the room sharing the one thing we wanted to change or the one wellness goal we wanted to work on. The majority of nurses could not clearly articulate a goal or a change. And even further- when I delved deeper asking for them to sense within themselves what would have to shift- most got stuck with the process. A lot of ambivalence to change came up over the course of the presentation…
…And there is nothing wrong with this. There is no blame or shame with being unclear or unsure of change. I would place these nurses in the second stage of the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior change, the Contemplation stage. In this stage, individuals are intending to start the healthy behavior within the next 6 months. While they may be more aware of the pros of changing, their cons are still about equal to their pros. This ambivalence, as I discussed above, can keep them from taking any action. In this stage, individuals learn both about the kind of person they could be if they changed and from the people who role-model healthy lifestyles…
…So if a nurse finds him/herself in this predicament what can she/he do? In order to move from “Contemplation” to the next stage, “Preparation”- there are some strategies a person can take to take an active role in the process. Here are some tools I recommend:
- Identify core values. What is really important to you? What would you put at the top of your priority list? What are the three most significant things in your life? If you want to make a change you have to know why you are doing so. Take time to reflect upon your foundational values.
- Check in with the timing. Why is this important to you now? Is this a time in your life when change is really necessary/possible? Will working on health goals fit in with your schedule? Is something happening that is calling you to make shifts now?
- Create a pros and cons list. Why is changing a good thing? Why is changing a bad thing? Why is staying where you are at a good thing? Why is staying where you are at a bad thing? If the cons of changing still outweigh your pros- you will not be successful at change.
- Write a rough statement out and see what it shares with you. Write your statement. “I….. to change….” Or “I….. to (health goal)”. Look at your statement. If it sounds like this: “I have to lose weight” or “I should eat healthier” then you are not going to change. If your statement does not begin with “I WANT…” then you do not want it. If you do not want it you will not do it.
- Look around you. Do you have people supportive of your change? Do you have healthy role-models in your life? Are there people that you can turn to in order to get this going? I am always here as a resource to help/support you along your journey: coachscala@livingsublimewellness.com…
How do you take a step back from your goals? Do you ever pause to really feel out if what you say you want to work on is really, really what YOU want? What has helped you succeed with reaching the changes that you want?
Great article Elizabeth! I am going to do some reading on Transtheoretical Model of Behavior.
Thank you.