…I wrote a bunch two weeks -or so- ago on giving and receiving. I went into the details of reasons why we might find it hard to say “No” to people. I shared what effect this could have on our health. I wrote about some ways we could change this in order to get some relief. Well, I guess I am not yet done with this topic as I had an experience this past weekend that highlighted more of this for me…
…I want to share with you a specific story about receiving and what might have gotten in my way. I share this story with some vulnerability because I am slightly embarrassed with part of it. And then I will delve into that feeling of embarrassment… is that part of receiving as well?…
…So Saturday I went kayaking with friends. It was an early morning as I left the city around 7 am to head up to the bay. I met two gals at a park and ride off of Interstate 95. As we rode up together, they spoke and shared and asked questions… the usual conversation. One girl asked if anyone had kayaked before, and I shared that I had on my honeymoon last September with Drew. Another question was about our age and we came to share that I was the youngest one in the car. (Pieces of information that I take with me to share more upon as I get further into the story)…
…So we get to the bay and the guide is there with plenty of kayaks! We all load in and are very happy and excited about our upcoming adventure. During parts of the start of our voyage I lazily floated, just taking in all of the scenes and sights of nature. I felt peaceful and relaxed. As we meandered down the bay, we got into one little run off that we explored looking for wildlife. Around that time I was paddling fine and still part of the group…
…Then we got further out into the bay. The current was against us and the open space much wider. We started spreading more and more apart from each other and I noticed… they started getting more and more ahead of me! Oh well, I thought… I am enjoying my ride. Yet as time wore on, I realized… my shoulders were feeling like boulders. I had lifted weights the day before- and increased my resistances by 2.5 pounds! My back, shoulders, and especially chest were burning and sore. How could I keep up?…
…Again, remember those conversations from the car… I had gone kayaking before. I was the youngest of the group. I put myself in a category of “excellent” physical shape. So we got to our destination which was down a smaller run off… underneath the Amtrack train. Everyone got out and stretched their legs. It was a nice -and needed- little break!…
…Now I forgot to mention that part of the paddle I spent with one of my friends talking about Yoga, Yoga classes, and keeping up or letting oneself rest during a Yoga class. If you’ve ever taken a Yoga class, you know that most instructors will tell you “If you need a break, at any time during the class, just rest in child’s pose… and then rejoin us when you are ready… it is your journey… it is your body…” So with these thoughts in mind and the recent eavesdropping I did of the guide who told another guest about how he was able to “tow” folks who were unable to paddle… I was getting more and more ideas and thoughts running through my head… Would I be towed?…
…Well, my pride kicked in and I was like “I am the youngest one here… this is ridiculous… I can do this…” I struggled back and forth with asking him for help… and not. I toyed with the idea and then went back to “I can do it on my own…” Mentally I was torn… do I ask for help and (to me) appear foolish? Or do I tough it out and just go slow? What do I do?…
What do you think I did? What would you have done? Would you have asked for help? Or would you have struggled through, in pain, in frustration, in agony… just to show that you can get it done?
Oh this is a good one! Thanks you for sharing. I am thinking you asked for help? I know that I would have probably just kept on struggling along. This reminds me so much of nursing where sometimes you are so overwhelmed but the culture is one where you just keep on pushing through, Ask for help? How could you, everyone else is just as busy. It is your responsibility. etc. etc. etc. Yes I think we don’ t ask for enough help as nurses, and women. This is the lesson I am re-teaching myself, to allow myself to receive. The problem with this mentality of not asking for help, is we do not allow ourselves to receive in other areas of our lives when we make this our norm. Such a wonderful lesson for all.