…I had an email sent to me today in response to one of my published articles and the following comment struck me; “I push out negative thoughts instead of letting them fester – that’s hard.  I find I have discussions with friends about our various negative/sad past life experiences and I always tell them to push them out of their minds and replace them with the good, current experiences instead”…  Do you ever find this happening to you?  You are doing your best to be positive and upbeat but somewhere someone is always trying to drag you down?  I have …

…I notice lately that since I have begun on this journey of healing at times I feel very alone.  I feel like an outsider looking in at the “cool” group.  I feel as if I am a weirdo or am strange.  As many of my readers know, I have been through a heck of a lot of life changes since about 2009.  I quit my job.  I began working on things I was more passionate about.  I re-found exercise and healthy eating.  I practice mindful based techniques.  I am so much happier and healthier than ever before!  But this does not come with all sunshine and roses.  At times I feel very, very alone…

…One afternoon I was having a barbecue at my house.  Friends and guests were outside on my back patio.  I was in and out preparing food and making sure things were going smoothly.  I noticed, the times that I sat down at the table with this group would leave me feeling fed up and irritable.  They were constantly complaining.  They were gossiping and talking negatively.  They were going on and on about everything that was wrong.  This happened again at a family function I was at; family gossiping about another member, talking about negative memories, complaining about this or that which had happened to them recently.  I could not stand it.  I realized admist my life changes and my progression to wellness and healing I was leaving behind many others around me who were still in the place I used to be at…

…It happens a lot to me now.  I may be in a work group or at a store and I notice things.  I notice all the scowls on people’s faces.  I notice the bad moods and negative energy.  I see people at restaurants giving servers a hard time; heck I was out to dinner a couple of weeks ago by myself and I noticed the table across from me wasn’t speaking at all and the man threw down his napkin and threatened to walk home!  Is it really that bad out there?…

…My answer is, and will continue to be, NO.  There is so much beauty in the world.  Nature, even in itself, is an awesome and amazing thing.  There are children playing and babies laughing.  There are volunteers and service people everywhere giving of themselves.  We are fortunate to have what we have and we should think of this everyday.  We should be grateful for our blessing and keep our minds upbeat and positive.  Easier said than done; right?…

Here are some simple tools I suggest to keep your mind where you want it to be:

• Meditate:  Make it your practice to take some time each day to sit quietly with your breathing.  Even 5 minutes is worth it.  You will not notice the changes immediately, but slowly things will begin to shift for you.
• Breathe: When you are around negative people take a moment to focus and breathe.  Take a slow, deep breath in and out through your nose and clear your mind and body.  Fresh air will slow you down and replenish you.  Exhale out all the negativity as you exhale your breath.
• Excuse yourself: Sometimes you just have to get up and get out of the conversation around you.  Take a couple of minutes to go outside or splash water on your face.  Then come back and try again.
• Say something: This is tricky and may need some practice.  But if you find yourself around a lot of negativity and gossip see if you can shift the conversation by speaking up.  Mention an observation; “my we sure are complaining a lot today. Let’s see if we can focus on each other’s strengths for a couple of minutes.”
• Repeat an affirmation: If you are unable to say something or to remove yourself try stating a mantra over and over to yourself.  Try something like, “I am confident in the goodness of life to see me through.”
• Learn from the group: Know that each experience you are having in life you are meant to have.  Each piece to your journey will only make you stronger.  Each conversation or group you are a part of is teaching you something.  Maybe it is teaching patience!
• Change your scenery: Maybe you need a new group of friends.  Sure, those people you grew up with and have known all your life will always be there for you.  But join a club, volunteer group, or networking event of people who are doing the things you like, who are positive people, and who are on their own healing journey.

How are you handling new experiences?  Do you ever feel alone in the world of positivity?  What have you noticed about living in the world of healing and well-being?