Those who have worked for any length of time in their nursing careers know that there are moments that can be painful and there are times of great joy. Being a nurse, we experience life, death and everything in between. It can be quite difficult to keep that ‘brave face’ of nursing when all we want to do is break down and cry.
My story continues with the pup. He was laid to rest last night. Finally, he is at peace. I felt a sigh of relief. A release. From him? Or me? Or was it the both of us letting go?
As nurses sometimes we become attached to the outcome, feeling the need to control in order to help healing happen. When that grip gets too tight we lose sight of the emotions involved. Our feelings get all wrapped up in trying to care and find that cure.
[Tweet “Letting go is not the same thing as giving up.”]
And in letting go there can be new emotions that bubble up to the surface. Things we don’t want to or let ourselves feel. Loss, pain, sadness, guilt or loneliness. It can certainly hurt.
I noticed I tend to deflect these uncomfortable emotions with humor, trying to make myself or others laugh during this challenging time. And receiving an article today in my email inbox from the DailyOM on acknowledging the pain made me stop and take pause.
- Do I use humor in order to mask my pain?
- Am I avoiding certain emotions in hopes of feeling better?
- Is bringing laughter to a heavy situation my way of trying to ‘nurse’ and care for those involved?
Think about your own nursing practice.
Maybe it isn’t necessarily humor. Maybe it is avoidance altogether, pretending like the tough stuff didn’t happen. Maybe it is changing the subject, throwing yourself into your work or keeping busy to stay distracted.
As a nurse, you need to (I need to, we all need to) feel the pain as well as the pleasure.
On this blog I often write about taking time to bask in the success of your accomplishments. I tell you to celebrate your achievement. Well, today I also invite you to feel the painful feelings as much as you would those that lift you up. They too are real and they matter the same.
As we know, feelings come and go like the tide. In with the bad, out with the good. Everything changes. And as my doggie and others have taught me along my path: life is not permanent. We are in a constant state of flux. So to think that something or someone will be around with us forever- well, that is just setting ourselves up for heartache.
Take time out of your busy nursing practice today to check in with your feelings: pleasurable and painful. Be sure to allow each to flow on through, observing and noticing. No judgement at all.
I would love to hear from you. Any questions, comments or reflections? Go ahead and leave a comment below and thank you for reading. Enjoy your health today.
When I find myself feeling sad or thinking of some of the negative issues that are going on at work, I feel I need to change my thinking into a positive mindset. Stay away from the negative and focus on the positive. Isn’t that what we’re taught from our parents, friends, teachers, classes, seminars,etc…..??? So, I do and in doing so I suppose I am ignoring what is really bothering me. I get it. It’s ok to feel those feelings of hurt and pain and allow myself to work through them so I can move on to a place where it is more peaceful and pleasurable, for real!
So, so true Marti. We were taught that ‘strong’ people do not cry. Or to ‘tough it out’ and push through the bad stuff. And you are right, that is just making it worse since we are avoiding the feelings and not allowing them to flow through us. I am glad you read the post and enjoyed the message shared. Thank you for your insights and for taking the time to comment. Elizabeth
Having grown up military & serving 22 years myself, I’ve had to compartmentalize my emotions in order to complete the tasks at hand. Keeping calm & carrying on doesn’t allow for emotional release at will in the military or nursing. However it wasn’t until I experienced some heart wrenching situations as a nurse that I realized & accepted the necessity to schedule time to specifically allow myself to decompress.
Hello Debra,
Thank you so much for coming by and taking the time to read the blog. I appreciate your comments and do understand that at certain times along our journey some practices are harder than others. I am glad that you are seeing and enjoying the benefits of allowing yourself to rest. Enjoy the day,
Elizabeth