LETTING GO

What does letting go mean? That was the topic for our opening discussion during yoga class this week.

I asked the students to think about letting go, what it means, how they’ve done it, when they’ve done it, and why it could be beneficial to our overall wellbeing.

Now, as a spoiler alert, I don’t have all the answers. There are things I’ve been able to let go of more easily than others. And some things… well, some things, I’m still working on…

Defining Letting Go

It was interesting to ask the yoga classes what they thought about letting go. Since it’s a challenging topic, many people started off by saying, “Well… I really don’t know how to answer this, but I’ll give it a try…”

And you know what? They did! And- they did GREAT!

Letting go might be releasing the worry that people are judging you. Letting go could be quitting comparing yourself to others. Letting go may mean releasing control.

When we quit trying to control everything, when we stop trying to fit in, when we decide we’re not going to force things anymore, we get into the space of allowing.

Allowing ourselves to be who we truly are. Allowing things to happen as they naturally occur. Trusting that life is flowing for our highest and best good. Accepting what is. Living carefree as our best selves.

Boy, doesn’t that sound wonderful? Well, that could be the way our lives are if we just let go and allow things to flow…

Letting Go in Various Areas

One yoga student mentioned that she’s able to let go better in some areas than others. For example, she has an easier time letting go of something within her friend group than when something happens at work. She shared, in her work life, she tends to take things extremely seriously. She wants to do her best all the time. So, when something goes wrong or she makes an error or has a conflict, she seems to dwell on it longer and sometimes cannot let it go.

This is so true. There may be aspects of your life you find it easier to let go than others. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect. Stop beating yourself up for where you’re still improving. Do the best you can. And, perhaps, you might consider what helps you let go in some areas of your life and apply those things in the areas where it’s a bit tougher to let go.

How Letting Go Could Be Helpful

As a holistic professional, to me, everything is interwoven. I truly believe in a mind, body, and spirit connection. I see everything as made up of energy that’s all intertwined.

With that in mind, one of the first ways letting go can be helpful is for our physical health. If we’re holding onto something, we may hold it in the body. The shoulders could stay tense around the ears. The hips may be tight. The back might ache. All of these ailments, in my opinion, stem from some underlying issues or reasons.

So, letting go of negative energy, clearing negative emotions, releasing negative thoughts, these could all improve our physical wellbeing as much as our mental or emotional health.

Another reason letting go might be helpful is because we’re unloading the baggage. A yoga student shared how they had experienced a difficult relationship with an adult sibling. This family member had become toxic, and the yoga student needed to make a decision to take space from their family member. Now, I’m not a therapist, but I’ve heard a lot of healing metaphors in my day…

By deciding to let go of someone is healthy for you. When you ruminate about another person, thinking about them all the time, you’re actually giving them free real estate in your mind/body. Why do that to yourself? Why think about someone who is so toxic? Why make yourself sick?

So, letting go, while difficult can be a very healthy decision.

Suggestions for Letting Go Practices

While I had some ideas in mind, the students offered excellent suggestions for ways to let go. Here are just some of our ideas:

• Walking away, moving the energy, taking a break from whatever it is
  Think about this: you get a nasty email from a coworker. The message is filled with a list of demands. You want to scream, curse, or something worse. DON’T DO ANYTHING. Close the email; walk away; sleep on it. Respond when your emotions are softer. Sometimes, letting go is about removing ourselves from the space. Or clearing the energy that we’re in. It’s okay to say, “You know what, I need a break from this. I’ll come back to it when I’m feeling refreshed.”
• Writing it out
  Journal, journal, journal. It can be so cathartic to write things down. Writing your inner thoughts and feelings onto paper is a great way to get them out of your head. And- the best part? No one ever has to read them! You can keep your writings tucked away. Or, if you want something more ceremonial in nature, you can rip up the paper or burn it in a fire. Use the smoke that is lifting from the burning pages as a metaphor for releasing what no longer serves you.
• Replacing whatever you’re letting go with something else in its place
  One of the students shared that they have difficulty with letting go because they feel like they want to then find whatever they released. That made a lot of sense to me. One time, at a self-care workshop I attended, I heard the speaker talk about “losing” weight. When we say “losing” what does our subconscious mind automatically want to do? Find it! We want to find whatever is lost. So, saying “I want to lose five pounds” isn’t really a great way to phrase it because somewhere in the recesses of your mind you just might want to find that weight again. Anyway, the yoga student shared that rather than just letting go of something they like to find a way to replace it with a better, more positive alternative. So, if you’re mad at your husband for pulling the flowers when he was weeding the bed, you could let go of the anger and replace it with gratitude for the fact that he was actually trying to help you!
• Being playful with it
  Another student brought up how I talked with them about not taking ourselves so seriously in another yoga class. This student saw this as an opportunity to help us let go. Rather than being so serious with ourselves, so critical or judgmental, why not be playful with ourselves? Laugh at ourselves more? Stop being so serious? Try seeing the concept of letting go as something we can have fun with, rather than making it such a difficult task. Sounds good to me!
• Stretching and breathing in order to release
  Still another person brought up the mind, body, spirit connection. This student talked about how stretching and breathing can help us release tension out of the physical body. Sometimes we hold our emotions and thoughts in the body and we’re not even aware of it. When that happens, we feel tight, sore, or even in pain. So, breathing and stretching physically can be a way to release the negative stuff emotionally or mentally. And, hey, we didn’t even have to do a ton of heavy lifting here! I like this suggestion a lot!!
• Crying it out
  Finally, it’s okay to have a good cry. Sometimes we know what we’re crying about. Other times we don’t. But either way, after a really good, releasing cry, we tend to feel better. So, if you’ve tried everything else and are still feeling stuck, go ahead and let the tears flow. I’m telling you… you’ll feel a heck of a lot better when you’re done sobbing your eyes out.

What do you think? Have you had to let go of anything? If so, how did it go? Any other tips to add to the list above??

And, of course, we’d love to see you in a future class! Check out our yoga schedule and sign up for a future program.

About the Author: Elizabeth Scala MSN/MBA, RN, RYT (200) is a holistic nurse, registered yoga instructor, and reiki master.

Elizabeth received her dual master’s degree from Johns Hopkins University. She is a certified coach, nature lover, and avid meditator.

Elizabeth lives in Maryland with her supportive husband and playful pups. She enjoys gardening, jigsaw puzzles, baking, music, and hiking.