This past month I have been thinking about my uncle more and more. You see he took his life in December, 2010… just two days before his 52nd birthday. I’ll never forget the whirlwind of emotions, as I’m sure no one in my family can forget. Shock, disbelief, loss, total sadness… words cannot even describe.

I listened to the voicemail from my Mother (his sister), standing on the corner in downtown Baltimore in the snow. My husband was on his way to pick me up as I had biked into work that day and he called the gym saying, “I don’t want you biking home. I am coming to get you.”

I tried to argue- “No, it isn’t even snowing that hard. It’s barely covering the roads. What are you talking about?”

“Liz- I am coming to get you.”

His voice was stern, direct- like I had never heard him before. Little did I know… the reason why he actually was coming to scoop me up. He was coming because he knew what I wasn’t yet aware of… he knew there was no way I would be able to ride home.

I don’t even remember the car ride; I was sobbing the entire way. I even think Drew was crying, tears silently streaming down his face (he rarely cries). I climb the stairs to my house, my suitcase is packed and sitting at the door. Dinner is on the table and Drew looks at me and says, “We’re leaving tonight. We’re going to stay in Brooklyn with your sister; I’ve arranged everything. We’ll be at Billy’s house by tomorrow.”

WOW- What support. What love. What connection.

This is what I want to share with you today, in this post. That sense and feeling of connection. That space where you know with your entire being that you are connected and related to all things.

Fast forward about 3 months after Billy died- I am sitting in a chair at a small, local church. The room is quiet, unfamiliar. I am uncomfortable. As I introduce myself and speak to share my story, I feel that same feeling: physical sickness, nausea, anger, heart-racing in my throat, sweaty palms. It’s as if Billy is dying all over again, right then and there in front of me.

This support group I attended twice a month- and the Reiki circle I found- were ways to cope, grieve, and understand. I met my Reiki Master and did my level I class all around this time… that circle of people there for me, holding me, connecting to me and my pain.

I encourage you to find supports in your own life. Find those people and places that make you feel as if you truly are connected to it all. Because we are- we are connected to each other, to the planet, to a source unknown- all through this greater energy.

We are connected to energy.

I trained in Level I, Level II, and Reiki Master over the next two years. I had deep, profound lessons. I read. I talked and listened. I felt. Even to this day, I hear something new or re-hear something old. Even this past week, I realize deeper and deeper how totally connected we all are.

Let yourself feel that support. There is no need to do anything on your own. You are not isolated; let go of fear and doubt. Allow the energy to flow to you, through you. Allow yourself to be enveloped in the warming sensations. Let Reiki provide you with a circle of support.

If you’d like to learn more, receive a Reiki session, or discuss training options with me- by all means reach out. I’d love to hear from you! In fact, go ahead and leave a comment, question, or reflection below. Have a healthy day and know this- you are in the circle, my friend.