When I was a senior in high school, I was cut from the varsity basketball team. This wouldn’t have been that bad, however I was a key player for the varsity team during my junior year. I was also one of the best defensive players our school had and was infatuated with basketball. My senior year was ‘the year’ and I was on track to start for my varsity team. Until that final day of tryouts when the news shocked the entire gym…
I was so upset I don’t even remember the drive home. My ride was blinded with my constant stream of tears and when I walked in the door, red-faced and puffy-eyed, my Mom immediately asked me what had happened. I told her the news and no sooner could I get the words out of my mouth she was out the door and off to the school.
While I will never exactly know what my mother said to that coach, it must have been powerful. When she walked in the house that night she told me I was back on the team and he would give me a chance to practice with the group and ‘maybe’ play during the season. Well… after only a couple of games I was a team starter and my coach was quoted in the school new paper saying that I was the best defensive player of the group. I was co-captain by the end of the year.
Why do I tell you this story on this nursing blog?
Well, stories like this have created a quality in my personality. My lifetime of trials and challenges have taught me things about giving up, going forward, and sticking with the planned course of action. In short- I have never wanted to be viewed as a ‘quitter’.
This past week, I was faced with an extremely challenging decision. I had a three hour coaching session with my business coach and we talked about the many aspects of my business model, upcoming entrepreneurial plans, and the big picture vision for the rest of this year and beyond. Now, while I cannot share all of the details with you here soon (these will be announced next month when I make the final changes to this exciting new shift), I can tell you that here is what I have learned and want to share with you today.
[Tweet “These are the 4 things that every nurse must do to stay nimble and proactive in a nursing career.”]
- Listen to how you are feeling. This is the ‘go with your gut’ step. With respect to my own shift mentioned above, I had been feeling unsettled for the past several days. When I thought about the task at hand or envisioned the future of this particular entrepreneurial endeavor, there was something ‘off’ about it. I couldn’t quite place it, however I just had a sense that something wasn’t right. I would like to encourage you to listen to your inner thoughts and feelings with respect to your nursing career. Pay attention to the signs and signals that you are receiving.
- Express these feelings into words. Next, find a mentor, coach, or confidant that you can bounce your ideas off of. So again, with respect to my particular case described above, I knew I didn’t feel 100% about my decision and I was afraid to tell anyone. Even when I brought it up to my business coach, I was nervous. Why? Well, I didn’t want to be viewed as a quitter. And the more we talked it through, I realized… I didn’t want to let me down. So talk about your doubts, worries, and fears. Instead of suppressing them- give them their space and process through so that you can move forward.
- Be OK with making shifts. Here is where it’s imperative that you are flexible. Being a nurse entrepreneur has taught me to go with the flow. I listen to my market- what they want and need. If I find out something isn’t working, I ask how to make it better. I learn from mistakes, experiences, and challenges. I never view choices as failures- only opportunities to grow.
- Stand powerfully in your decision. The final step is being OK with your choice. I have heard and read from many wise mentors that there is no ‘wrong’ option. There are choices and no matter which one you take, making a decision will move you forward. After I shared honestly with my coach about how I was feeling, she asked me an important question. She said, ‘If you do let this go… how will that make you feel?’ When I heard the word ‘relieved’ inside of my head and then out of my mouth… I knew I had made the right decision.
Have you ever had to make a difficult decision in your nursing career? How did you navigate that and what was the outcome like? What steps would you add to those mentioned above? I would love to hear from you so please leave your comment below. Thanks for reading and enjoy the day!
About the Author: As a speaker, workshop facilitator, and Reiki Master, Elizabeth partners with hospitals, organizations, associations, and nursing groups to help transform the field of nursing from the inside out. As the host of the Your Next Shift Workshop, Elizabeth guides nurses and nursing students to a change in perspective, helping them make the inner shift needed to better maneuver the sometimes challenging realities of being a caregiver.
As you mention, I particularly find value in having a mentor or coach to bounce ideas off, share struggles, challenges and success with during this process. It needs to be someone that can be objective and not afraid to give constructive criticism with the intent to give honest feedback. It needs to be someone that not only enjoys being your cheerleader, but your worst critic, so-to-say. Having someone that can be honest through both the successes and struggles is one of the most beautiful gifts one could receive in life.
Great idea, Rachel. It’s like we need to find a mentor who can be objective. Someone who can surely cheer us on, yet also provide us with the lessons we need to learn in life. Thanks for coming by and taking the time to share your thoughts, Elizabeth
Thanks for sharing your story, Elizabeth and tips for being nimble and proactive. As both you and Rachel Silva, DNP says, those mentoring relationships can be so supportive and empowering. My favorite tip is the one about listening to your feelings. I totally agree and last summer left a per diem RN role working on a secure dementia unit in a LTCF b/c I felt that the relentless stress was taking a toll on my emotional and physical health. I had all sorts of fears and worries, but ultimately realized that the cost was too high. It took me a while though to really listen to myself.
The only thing I might add is if you don’t like writing try expressing your feelings in artwork? Or maybe other ways of processing that help to focus on what is going on for you? I’m a writer and often journal.
Oh I used to play basketball too!!!!
Sure, Beth. Writing is only way way to creatively express ourselves. Thanks for adding the tip about artwork. I too love arts and crafts and use that modality often (though don’t always remember to mention it). Great comments and thanks for reading! We should shoot hoops the next time I am in town. Enjoy the day, Elizabeth
This article puts into words the immense struggle I am going through right now. I am leaving a successful management position for a CRCF and have been unsure of my decision. However, the emotional and physical stress on myself and my family is apparent. It is good to see others who have been through this process!
I often tell people something a smarter person than we wrote once – events don’t have automatic meaning. Events happen: WE give them their meaning, and we can choose how we do it. The meaning(s) we assign, the stories we tell ourselves, the ways we react, all have tremendous impact on the future results of that event, usually far more than the event itself. You gave an example of that here – thanks!
Awesome point, Greg. I totally agree. It’s our perception of the event that creates the emotion around it. I appreciate you sharing this wisdom with the community here on the blog. Thank you for taking the time. And enjoy the day!
I just switched back from eves to days – oy! -but it’s a pretty good day all the same 🙂 Thanks!
Like your Technique, the four steps are simple enough, and seem universal enough to be recognized, It has been awhile since I made a change in my Nursing career, but I had a pre-cognition or set a standard once reached then I would seek a change. I’ve enjoyed every position I’ve occupied in Nsg and for that I count myself fortunate indeed for there are many who toil daily in a position they hate, for supervisors they can’t stand, & with co-workers who are insufferable I feel so bad for those poor miserable people, that is the patients that these staff care for because these terminally unhappy people will be very poor caregivers. My pre-set standard is, I have to seek to change jobs when I no longer enjoy my job, when it isn’t fun anymore to go to work, when I don’t bounce out of bed anymore can’t wait to get to work it’s time for a change. That’s worked for me. I like what you have for the process, I’m at another crossroads which really isn’t a not having fun crossroads but I’ll apply your tool and see.
Great to hear that you listen to your gut, Keith. I am glad you’ve made changes in the past when things weren’t working for you anymore. Others would opt to stay in the same old spot. Let me know how trying out this process turns out. I’d love to hear your feedback and take on this!
Hi Elizabeth,
I am transitioning into retirement from nursing and working on starting my Reiki practice. I have been practicing Reiki in the hospital with my patients, staff and visitors since 1999. My thoughts were to retire from my 32 years of critical care nursing and continue to do the two evenings t the boarding school infirmary I work at. I thought I had it all set up but then I didn”t get the hours at the boarding school I wanted. My boss was trying to lower my hours so she could fit more of the perfumes in. I was upset because it interrupted my thought process. Then I was offered a Reiki Practice with my chiropractor, so I decided to stay casual status at the hospital working 24 hours a month ( pre retirement ) So I decided that things happen for a reason and I could work on establishing my Reiki Practice. Go with the flow is what you say
Perfect, Eileen. A great example that shows how one door closing, opens another. It’s our job to stay present and mindful of opportunities as they arise. Thanks for sharing!